Dear Manager,

-Dr Albini is terrifyingly efficient again today. Its been four days, and I only saw his toe tapping once. Not that I need my engineer dancing on the desk, I appreciate his sobriety. I forget he’s there. That means I’m alone. Can you have some emotional old ladies sent around for balance please? They can clap and giggle and be shocked at the sexual bits.

-I have burnt my buttocks on the amplifier, so overheated and old. I’m dizzy from screaming. I am brought anything legal that I ask for by the interns with a grin. “Eh Doctor? Shall I try that one again?” “That’s your decision. I have no problem with any of this from a technical standpoint.”

-I’m going mad. This doctor is a strange doctor. He makes his patients worse. I could hang myself and they’d supply the rope. This will either be a great record, or a reason to lock me up. “I have no opinion about whether its bad or good, but I did notice the sound of body hitting microphone a lot in this song. I have a microphone which I think is more suitable for that sound. Please bear with me while I set that up for you.”

Please send Marmite and filter tips.

Son of Dave

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